To paraphrase Forrest Gump; “Watching AGENTS OF SHIELD is like a box of chocolates (be sure and pronounce chocolate in your head with 3 syllables), you never know what you’re gonna get.”

Well last night on AGENTS OF SHIELD we got a GREAT episode and I for one, couldn’t be more relieved!

The episode in a few rambling paragraphs? Sure. Ready? Go!

Show starts in Hong Kong where a street performer is doing sleight of hand magic; the crowd is less than enthusiastic so he starts wielding fire from his hands scaring the hell out of everyone except a woman in a flower dress who gets all “Hey nice fire – you should take me back to your place and show me more of that” He’s all – “I really shouldn’t” but she seems to be a real arson fan or something so he says ok. They go back to his place and he does some more tricks with his fire hands for her but then he falls for the oldest trick in the book; she tells him to close his eyes and when he opens them there are two dudes in fire proof suits moving in to capture him! He stabs one but then gets knocked out and dragged away!

Agent Ward and Hacker Skye are playing Battleship on the SHIELD plane. Skye wins. Coulson and Agent May are chatting abut how Coulson isn’t sleeping much. He says he just seems to have a lot of extra energy to burn. She invites him to “go a few rounds on the gym mats” like in the old days. I’m not sure but it may have been a euphemism. Hard to say at this point. Hey while we’re talking about Coulson’s boundless energy…

coulson robot calmixx

WHAT THE HELL IS COULSON? IS HE A ROBOT? IS HE A CLONE? I WANT TO KNOW!!!!!

So Coulson lays out the mission: The dude with the fire hands is on SHIELD’s “index” and he’s gone missing. Turns out SHIELD has a big list of people with super powers and when they add you to it they assign you a field agent who politely asks you not to do things like wield fire powers as part of a street performance career. If you say ok; everything is coolsville. If you say nope; everything is…NOT. So anyway this fire guy had said ok, so everyone is nervous about his disappearance.  Fire Guy’s Agent tells Coulson that the Hong Kong SHIELD branch recently had a cyber intrusion by THE RISING TIDE and they think that might be how folks in fire proof suits found out about the fire hands dude.

Because she is the best hacker in the world <Sarcasm font> after all, she actually managed to hack into SHIELD’s RSA implementation with a laptop! </Sarcasm font> the whole team looks at Skye who says “Wasn’t me – I’ve been playing Battleship with Agent Ward”  That may also have been a euphemism but, again I’m not sure.  The team is still kinda suspicious until Agent Ward tells them that it’s true they have been playing a LOT of Battleship and she wouldn’t have had time even if she wanted to. Which he believes she didn’t.  Skye offers to trace the break in to prove she is not working with THE RISING TIDE !

Fire hands wakes up and the Flower Dress girl tells him that she wants to help him be a Superhero. He doesn’t want to be a superhero. He just wants people to see what he can do. She tries to explain that the best way for this to happen would be for him to be a superhero. He is still skeptical. She tells him he needs a cool Superhero name. He still doesn’t get it. She tells him his Superhero name should be SCORCH. He starts to come around, because hey – cool name right?   So now he’s a little more open to it, but realizes there must be a catch. She tells him she just wants to do a few “tests” on him. It is definitely NOT a euphemism.

Skye traces the RISING TIDE bad guy to Texas. His name is Miles and the SHIELD team has heard of him.  They go to Texas but just as they are about to close in and scoop him up, he realizes he’s being followed and takes off managing to lose them by using some kind of  traffic light hack he calls “gridlock”.  All of the traffic lights turn green and Coulson almost gets smashed by a tractor trailer !  How did he do that!?!?!  How did he know?!?!?

So as it turns out this Miles guy is Julian from ONE TREE HILL. I never would have made him for a super, genius hacker capable of breaking into SHIELD’s Hong Kong office and stealing information from their Superhero index but if there is one thing I learned from Brooke Davis it’s that you shouldn’t judge people before you really know them.  No wait. I learned that from Peyton. I don’t think I learned anything from Brooke Davis. Oh wait – that’s not true – “Clothes before Bros”. There. I learned THAT from her and like many things I learn from watching shows on THE CW it has not ever helped me once. NOT. ONE. TIME.   I digress.

Brooke Davis and the RISING TIDE

 

So Miles the RISING TIDE hacker got away and when he gets back to his secret hide out motel room place who should be there but . . . SKYE !

She tipped him off! She turned on SHIELD ! What the Hell is going on ? She almost got Coulson hit by a tractor trailer in the process ! He could have been killed AGAIN! Miles and Skye are very friendly and after some blah blah blah about how she is finally on the inside of SHIELD and he almost blew it for her they decide to go a few rounds like in the old days. That is definitely a euphemism.

Later they get up and Skye is walking around looking for her clothes and explaining how she is working with good people at SHIELD and it’s not at all what she thought it would be and as she opens the door to an adjoining room who should be standing there looking VERY PISSED off but . . . BROOKE DAVIS !!!  Pandemonium breaks out ! Julian screams for her not to but she swings a 9 iron at Skye!  Skye is too fast for her and she . . . sorry. That’s not true. It would have been cool, but it didn’t happen.

Ahem, let’s try this again –

Who should be standing there looking VERY PISSED but AGENT MAY !   Agent May tells Skye to get dressed because everyone is in very big trouble.

Meanwhile the girl in the flower dress has a name (Raina) and she has Scorch (it IS a cool name) tied up in a lab and is extracting his blood platelets to be used in a CENTIPEDE system like the one from the first episode! Uh oh. Scorch is not happy about this so he “flames on” but something is different now… it hurts him – and his skin begins to burn for the first time ever!  Raina explains that he will be giving his “gift” up so that it may be better controlled and used by her organization.  He really starts to regret bringing this chick home.

Back on the SHIELD plane, Skye and Miles are getting a firm talking to.  Hey it just occurred to me that if you put their names together it forms Sky Miles.  Huh. Clever.  I imagine this is what they were trying to accomplish with the epic naming fail that was Fitz and Simmons.  So a bunch of stuff happens including the Hong Kong Agent getting a big ol’ fire hole torn in his chest and at the end Scorch is incinerated by Coulson and Agent May, Miles is given a “homing bracelet” of some kind,  dumped in Hong Kong and warned to behave himself, Raina escapes with the fire research and  Coulson has a parent teacher meeting with Skye.

Actually he has a meeting with her where she spills that her reason for wanting to infiltrate SHIELD is because they seem to know what really happened to her parents. She has found some records of them in the systems (no doubt behind the RSA implementation) but they are blacked out with a lot of redacted details.  Coulson advises that she might not like what she finds and that she had better buckle down and start flying right or there will be consequences!

We get a quick tease that Raina is reaching out to some kind of clairvoyant for help with CENTIPEDE’s next move and that is the end of another episode!

centipede SHIELD

MUCH better than last week.  I like the resolution of the Skye and the Rising Tide storyline, I like Coulson being pissed off when he has a reason to be unlike last week when he was just grouchy.  I like Agent Ward in small doses and Fitz and Simmons in even smaller doses than that.

No new AGENTS OF SHIELD for two weeks so maybe I’ll spend that time re-watching the first 5 episodes and figuring out why it’s so uneven from week to week.   No complaints about this week though – That was FUN.

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  1. Thomas R Clark

    Oh would you stop saying ROBOT. Yes, I know Skye makes funny hah hah ROBOT jokes. But the correct word is LMD (Life-Model Decoy). And I missd it last night! Forgot to set DVR. If the series continues on its current path…the next new episode should…suck.

    Reply
  2. Frank Castle

    I swear this TV show is Bi-Polar, it never wants to string together a couple good episodes. You keep posting, I’ll keep reading Cal.

    Reply

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