After reading Scott Mendenko’s great story here about the return of Sonic the Hedgehog in an updated/redesigned form, I started thinking about some of my favorite cartoons and characters from my childhood that deserve an upgrade for today’s generation. We’ve had “reimagined” Transformers already, GI Joe has seen the big screen on two separate occasions, The Ninja Turtles have new cartoons and will rise again this summer in theaters. Hell, even Kid and Play made an appearance in the Radio Shack Super Bowl spot. There’s one character though, one hero who is deserving of a reboot more than all of the rest. That hero is HAMMERMAN.
The early 90’s were an amazing time. Almost any slightly mediocre idea for an animated series could become a full blown cartoon show and M.C. Hammer’s HAMMERMAN was the culmination of pop culture in animated form. It starred M.C. Hammer as Stanley, who by the power of magic talking dance shoes, became the mythical crime fighter known as HAMMERMAN. The show had everything from M.C. Hammer to magic shoes. This show was basically the representation of everything that once made this country the envy of every other nation.
Much like the lyrics to the star spangled banner, the words of HAMMERMAN’s theme song tell a story of hope and honor. I submit these lyrics to you and hope they work their magic on your heart, much like the magic shoes did on Stanley’s feet when turning him into HAMMERMAN.
Whenever there’s a crime,
Some crooks are gonna do time.
They all better beware,
‘Cause the Hammerman will be there.
Here’s how it started,
Along time ago.
The legend of the Hammer,
And how it began to grow.
He was given magical shoes,
From a hip-hop mo-town dude.
Together they had power,
They stood up for what was right.
But Gramps was getting old,
And he couldn’t keep up the fight.
So Gramps and his granddaughter,
They went out on the road
To find the man they knew could tell
Who was worthy of the load.
They met a guy named Stanley
Who was dancing every night.
He helped the kids play every day,
His heart was out of sight.
So Gramps opened up the bag,
And took out the magical shoes.
He set them on the ground
And they soon began to groove.
The shoes knew at once,
They had finally found their man,
They hopped right on his feet,
And he became Hammerman,
It’s hard to follow poetry like that with any form of communication but I will do my best in the hopes that my words can at least honor this show for the gift that it was to us all. I implore you, reach out to your senators, write your letters, petition change.org if you must and let’s get the ball rolling on not only resurrecting but honoring a true masterpiece of American animation. Let us watch HAMMERMAN return to us again and bring with it the joy we lost as a nation when he left us so many years ago.
Larry Gallagher hails from Jersey City, NJ. He can often be found across the wide expanse of the interwebs writing under his alter ego “The Writing Rambler”. He is a simple man who believes we’d all be better off if we just read more comics and shared a burrito once in a while.
Aug 29, 2014 0