Variety is reporting today that New Line will be producing a remake of the 1980’s classic Goldie Hawn comedy PRIVATE BENJAMIN to use as a star vehicle for PITCH PERFECT actress and MTV Movie Awards Host Rebel Wilson.

My mother taught me from a very young age that if you have nothing nice to say about something you should keep your mouth shut.

That was very easy for my Mother to believe because she grew up in an era where people were constantly coming up with NEW things to give to the world and not just slapping a coat of paint of whatever 30 year old crap they had sitting around and pretending it was some innovative new direction for a dying industry.

If we all just trust in New Line though – I am certain this  will be a “high-larious”, “fish out of water” “romp” with the SUPER FUN NIGHT star being stuffed into an Army Uniform and forced into all manner of zany hijinks.

I mean just imagine her trying to get over the obstacle course wall – i bet the whole thing will just topple over! Won’t that be hilarious! Why this movie practically writes itself !

Ahem.

You can also be sure that by the time it’s over Rebel’s PRIVATE BENJAMIN will have taught us all a heart warming lesson about love, confidence and the power to overcome the massive coronary that I imagine she would suffer were she to actually participate in anything remotely similar to basic training.

Mark Gordon will produce. A director is currently being sought.  I suppose there is a chance they won’t find one so we can take some solace in that.

Sorry Mom – I tried.

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